Welcome.txt

T-shirts for people who remember the dial-up noise.

Funny, geeky, retro and occasionally so obscure that only you and one bloke on a forum will get it. Nothing is printed until enough people want it, so if you like one, hit I want one and we'll let you know when it goes to print. Every shirt comes in XS to XXL: check the size guide.

Got a better joke than ours?I have an idea for a t-shirt

The catalogue

The OG Karen

The OG Karen t-shirt printed with "I am the OG Karen / Est. long before the meme"

The OG Karen print artwork: "I am the OG Karen / Est. long before the meme"

The OG Karen t-shirt printed with "I am the OG Karen / Est. long before the meme"

whoami Karen t-shirt printed with "> whoami / I am the OG Karen / user since 1984"

Karen Alert t-shirt printed with "I am the OG Karen. / May I speak to the system administrator? / OK / Escalate"

First Edition Karen t-shirt printed with "I am the OG Karen / First Edition #001 / Special move: Speak to the manager"

First edition card

Had the name first. Kept it anyway.

£22.00 (probably)

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They'll Tell You

They'll Tell You t-shirt printed with "How do you know if someone / runs Home Assistant? / Don't worry, they'll tell you!"

They'll Tell You print artwork: "How do you know if someone / runs Home Assistant? / Don't worry, they'll tell you!"

They'll Tell You t-shirt printed with "How do you know if someone / runs Home Assistant? / Don't worry, they'll tell you!"

Don't Worry, I'll Tell You t-shirt printed with "Don't worry, / I'll tell you!"

Excitable house

Ask Me About My Automations t-shirt printed with "I run Home Assistant / Ask me about my automations!"

Open invitation

And they will be so happy to.

£22.00 (probably)

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You Are a Wizard, Barry

You Are a Wizard, Barry t-shirt with the supplied Barry outline and speech bubble reading You are a wizard, Barry

The user-supplied Barry outline in ivory on black, with a speech bubble reading You are a wizard, Barry

A magical revelation, delivered with all the warmth of a debt collector.

£22.00 (probably)

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No Claude

No Claude Couture t-shirt printed with "... no Claude..", Claude italic

No Claude Couture print artwork: "... no Claude..", Claude italic

No Claude Couture t-shirt printed with "... no Claude..", Claude italic

No Claude Cover Model t-shirt with a framed fashion outline and "... no Claude..", Claude italic

Navy No Claude Line Model t-shirt with a gold fashion outline and "... no Claude..", Claude italic

A different sort of model.

£22.00 (probably)

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My Other Wives

My Other Wives t-shirt printed with "my other wives are / CGPT, / Claude, and / CoPilot"

My Other Wives print artwork: "my other wives are / CGPT, / Claude, and / CoPilot"

My Other Wives t-shirt printed with "my other wives are / CGPT, / Claude, and / CoPilot"

Groovy lettering

Three Tabs Open t-shirt printed with "my other wives are / CGPT, / Claude, and / CoPilot"

Three tabs open

Subscription Vows t-shirt printed with "my other wives are / CGPT, / Claude, and / CoPilot"

Subscription vows

Three subscriptions. One very awkward conversation.

£22.00 (probably)

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Replaceable at Work

Replaceable at Work t-shirt printed with "I'm humble enough to know / I am replaceable at work. / But I'm confident enough to know / that it would take / 4 people / 830 billion tokens"

Replaceable at Work print artwork: "I'm humble enough to know / I am replaceable at work. / But I'm confident enough to know / that it would take / 4 people / 830 billion tokens"

Replaceable at Work t-shirt printed with "I'm humble enough to know / I am replaceable at work. / But I'm confident enough to know / that it would take / 4 people / 830 billion tokens"

Replacement Budget t-shirt printed with "I'm humble enough to know / I am replaceable at work. / But I'm confident enough to know / that it would take / 4 people / 830 billion tokens"

Replacement budget

Human Replacement Patch t-shirt printed with "I'm humble enough to know / I am replaceable at work. / But I'm confident enough to know / that it would take / 4 people / 830 billion tokens"

Human replacement patch

A modest assessment, revised for the token economy.

£22.00 (probably)

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DevOps: Fixing Shh..uff We Usually Start

DevOps: Fixing Shh..uff We Usually Start t-shirt printed with "DevOps / Fixing Shh..uff We Usually Start"

DevOps: Fixing Shh..uff We Usually Start print artwork: "DevOps / Fixing Shh..uff We Usually Start"

Calm under pressure. Suspiciously well supplied.

£22.00 (probably)

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Bedside Tech Support

Bedside Tech Support t-shirt printed with "CAN YOU TAKE THIS OFF? / HAVE YOU TRIED TURNING IT OFF AND ON AGAIN?"

Bedside Tech Support print artwork: "CAN YOU TAKE THIS OFF? / HAVE YOU TRIED TURNING IT OFF AND ON AGAIN?"

Bedside Tech Support t-shirt printed with "CAN YOU TAKE THIS OFF? / HAVE YOU TRIED TURNING IT OFF AND ON AGAIN?"

Off and on again

Bedroom Admin Rights t-shirt printed with "CAN YOU TAKE THIS OFF? / SORRY, I DON'T HAVE ADMIN RIGHTS."

Production Dependency t-shirt printed with "CAN YOU TAKE THIS OFF? / IS THAT A PRODUCTION DEPENDENCY?"

Production dependency

Romance has been escalated to first-line support.

£22.00 (probably)

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Lip Service

Lipserver t-shirt printed with "LIPSERVER / ENTERPRISE-GRADE LIP SERVICE / 99.999% UPTIME. 0% FOLLOW-THROUGH."

Lipserver print artwork: "LIPSERVER / ENTERPRISE-GRADE LIP SERVICE / 99.999% UPTIME. 0% FOLLOW-THROUGH."

Lipserver t-shirt printed with "LIPSERVER / ENTERPRISE-GRADE LIP SERVICE / 99.999% UPTIME. 0% FOLLOW-THROUGH."

systemctl start lipservice t-shirt printed with "$ SYSTEMCTL START LIPSERVICE / [ OK ] SAYING ALL THE RIGHT THINGS / [ FAIL ] DOING ANY OF THEM"

systemctl start lipservice

Now Serving Lip Service t-shirt printed with "LIPSERVER / NOW SERVING LIP SERVICE / YOUR CONCERNS ARE VERY IMPORTANT TO US"

Enterprise-grade lip service. Five nines of uptime, zero follow-through.

£22.00 (probably)

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Out of Tokens

Insert Token t-shirt printed with "IT'S ALL FUN AND GAMES / INSERT TOKEN / UNTIL YOU RUN OUT OF TOKENS"

Insert Token print artwork: "IT'S ALL FUN AND GAMES / INSERT TOKEN / UNTIL YOU RUN OUT OF TOKENS"

Insert Token t-shirt printed with "IT'S ALL FUN AND GAMES / INSERT TOKEN / UNTIL YOU RUN OUT OF TOKENS"

Running on Empty t-shirt printed with "IT'S ALL FUN AND GAMES / TOKENS: E / UNTIL YOU RUN OUT OF TOKENS"

Running on empty

Out of Tok t-shirt printed with "> IT'S ALL FUN AND GAMES / UNTIL YOU RUN OUT OF TOK / [CONTEXT LIMIT REACHED]"

Arcade rules apply. Also to large language models.

£22.00 (probably)

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Hallucinating Agents

Hallucinating Agents t-shirt printed with "THE AGENTS IN THE MATRIX / WERE HALLUCINATING / (THERE WAS NEVER A SPOON)"

Hallucinating Agents print artwork: "THE AGENTS IN THE MATRIX / WERE HALLUCINATING / (THERE WAS NEVER A SPOON)"

Hallucinating Agents t-shirt printed with "THE AGENTS IN THE MATRIX / WERE HALLUCINATING / (THERE WAS NEVER A SPOON)"

That Wasn't Deja Vu t-shirt printed with "THE AGENTS IN THE MATRIX WERE HALLUCINATING / (THAT WASN'T DEJA VU)"

Wake Up, Agent t-shirt printed with "> WAKE UP, AGENT... / > THE AGENTS IN THE MATRIX / > WERE HALLUCINATING / > SOURCES: NONE"

Far Out, Mr Anderson t-shirt printed with "THE AGENTS IN THE MATRIX / WERE HALLUCINATING / (FAR OUT, MR ANDERSON)"

The agents in the Matrix were hallucinating. There was never a spoon.

£22.00 (probably)

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The Future (As Predicted)

The Future (As Predicted) t-shirt printed with "THE FUTURE (AS PREDICTED) / HOVERBOARDS / FLYING CARS / SELF-LACING SHOES / FAX MACHINES IN EVERY ROOM / AN AI THAT WRITES YOUR CODE / (NOBODY SAW THAT COMING)"

The Future (As Predicted) print artwork: "THE FUTURE (AS PREDICTED) / HOVERBOARDS / FLYING CARS / SELF-LACING SHOES / FAX MACHINES IN EVERY ROOM / AN AI THAT WRITES YOUR CODE / (NOBODY SAW THAT COMING)"

Hoverboards, flying cars, fax machines. Nobody saw that coming.

£22.00 (probably)

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1.21 Gigatokens

1.21 Gigatokens t-shirt printed with "1.21 GIGATOKENS?! / GREAT SCOTT! / IT WROTE THE FLUX CAPACITOR ITSELF"

1.21 Gigatokens print artwork: "1.21 GIGATOKENS?! / GREAT SCOTT! / IT WROTE THE FLUX CAPACITOR ITSELF"

Great Scott! It wrote the flux capacitor itself.

£22.00 (probably)

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Where We're Going

Where We're Going t-shirt printed with "CODE? / WHERE WE'RE GOING, / WE DON'T NEED TO WRITE CODE."

Where We're Going print artwork: "CODE? / WHERE WE'RE GOING, / WE DON'T NEED TO WRITE CODE."

Code? Where we're going, we don't need to write code.

£22.00 (probably)

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Nobody Predicted Copilot

Nobody Predicted Copilot t-shirt printed with "THEY PREDICTED HOVERBOARDS / OCT 21 2015 / NOBODY PREDICTED COPILOT"

Nobody Predicted Copilot print artwork: "THEY PREDICTED HOVERBOARDS / OCT 21 2015 / NOBODY PREDICTED COPILOT"

They predicted hoverboards. Nobody predicted Copilot.

£22.00 (probably)

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You Might Pong

You Might Pong t-shirt printed with "GUINNESS & EXTRA SPICY CURRY / PLAY THE GAME... YOU MIGHT PONG!"

You Might Pong print artwork: "GUINNESS & EXTRA SPICY CURRY / PLAY THE GAME... YOU MIGHT PONG!"

Guinness, an extra spicy curry, and a two-player game.

£22.00 (probably)

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Roundrects

All This Will Be Yours t-shirt printed with "ONE DAY, LAD, ALL THIS WILL BE YOURS! / SON: "WHAT, THE ROUNDRECTS?" / KING: "NO! NOT THE ROUNDRECTS!" / (THEY'RE EVERYWHERE)"

All This Will Be Yours print artwork: "ONE DAY, LAD, ALL THIS WILL BE YOURS! / SON: "WHAT, THE ROUNDRECTS?" / KING: "NO! NOT THE ROUNDRECTS!" / (THEY'RE EVERYWHERE)"

All This Will Be Yours t-shirt printed with "ONE DAY, LAD, ALL THIS WILL BE YOURS! / SON: "WHAT, THE ROUNDRECTS?" / KING: "NO! NOT THE ROUNDRECTS!" / (THEY'RE EVERYWHERE)"

All this will be yours

The Roundrect t-shirt printed with "ROUNDRECT / THEY'RE EVERYWHERE / ( IT'S ROUNDRECTS ALL THE WAY DOWN )"

All the way down

Not the roundrects. Anything but the roundrects.

£22.00 (probably)

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I'm Batman

Dark grey t-shirt printed with a cartoon Batman and the text "I'M BATMAN (AND THEY BE ROBIN) (delete as appropriate)*"

Print design: cartoon Batman pointing sideways under "I'M BATMAN", with "(AND THEY BE ROBIN)" and "(delete as appropriate)*" below

One of you is the hero. The other one holds the cape.

£22.00 (probably)

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Y2K Survivor

Y2K Survivor t-shirt printed with "I SURVIVED Y2K / and all I got was / 01/01/1900"

Y2K Survivor print artwork: "I SURVIVED Y2K / and all I got was / 01/01/1900"

We were promised the apocalypse. We got a date bug in the payroll system.

£21.00 (probably)

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Off By One

Off By One t-shirt printed with "2 hard problems: / 1. cache invalidation / 2. naming things / 3. off-by-one errors"

Off By One print artwork: "2 hard problems: / 1. cache invalidation / 2. naming things / 3. off-by-one errors"

The two hardest problems in computer science. All three of them.

£20.00 (probably)

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IRQ Conflicts

IRQ Conflicts t-shirt printed with "Ask me about / my IRQ / conflicts"

IRQ Conflicts print artwork: "Ask me about / my IRQ / conflicts"

A conversation starter. And ender.

£20.00 (probably)

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Insert Disk 2 of 47

Insert Disk 2 of 47 t-shirt printed with "Please insert / DISK 2 OF 47 / [ OK ]"

Insert Disk 2 of 47 print artwork: "Please insert / DISK 2 OF 47 / [ OK ]"

For those who installed an office suite one floppy at a time.

£21.00 (probably)

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No Place Like Home

No Place Like Home t-shirt printed with "There's no place / like / 127.0.0.1"

No Place Like Home print artwork: "There's no place / like / 127.0.0.1"

Click your heels three times and ping yourself.

£20.00 (probably)

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Crapintosh Classic

Crapintosh Classic t-shirt printed with "CRAPINTOSH / it just about works"

Crapintosh Classic print artwork: "CRAPINTOSH / it just about works"

The house shirt. It just about works.

£20.00 (probably)

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Does It Have An MCP?

Black t-shirt with a neon synthwave grid face and the words "does it have an MCP?"

Black t-shirt with a neon synthwave grid face and the words "does it have an MCP?"

Black t-shirt cartoon of a man proudly showing a retro toaster to an unimpressed developer who asks "yeah, but does it have an MCP?"

The only question anyone asks about anything any more.

£22.00 (probably)

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